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LATEST EPISODES

MAPS S2/E036: Nitrogen Scape Goat

Toby KEEF. Nitrogen. Boxed crepes. Le sex. AJ trial. Just because. Scape goats.

MAPS S2/E035: Rendlesham Forest

Asymmetrical games. How to combat the religion of equality. Europe update. Recession. Project Bluebeam. Rendlesham Forest Incident.

MAPS S2/E034: Scurvy Dinos! w/ No. 15

No. 15 CEO of Earth joins Sumo as co-host. Neither party took notes, and will have their pay cut as a result. But seriously- Thanks, No. 15 for bailing us out!

MAPS S2/E033: It’s OK We Have Machine Gun Now

The Swimming Song by Loudon Wainwright III. Cheesecake by Louis Armstrong. Haha Europe sucks. Haha chess sucks. Mr Hand! BRICSIA. WWIII Update. CWII. It’s a happy show!

MAPS S2/E032: Planned Obsolescence

We honor the glorious samurai death of Shinzo Abe. Japan and England. Dr. Strange is terrible. The rules make the game. Nitrogen pollution and the Dutch farmers. Planned obsolescence.

MAPS S2/E031: Left Brain / Right Brain

Knock on wood. Careless Whisper. Prometheus and Trickery. Truth and Falsehood. Bodega Bro. Baby Jessica. Talkin’ bout brains. Soy left brain, Chad right brain.

MAPS S2/E030: Hoes Mad

Send me on my way. Roe. Nicotine. Weed. Fertility crisis. Close sun. Sovereign things.

Keep your 3rd eye to the sky...

Hazmat Suit Boiler Room

Mystical American Patriots Society

Sumo & Smokestack’s worldview repair and support service.

We discuss the blood n’ guts of the dystopic modernist technocracy from a Christian perspective, and equip listeners in stripping away putrid layers of decades-old baloney draped over us all by government, academia, and big-tech. We’re doing our part to restore the patrimony of medieval European culture, specifically a coherent and satisfying worldview which seamlessly unites the physical and metaphysical, and encourages the flourishing of the human person.

THINGS WE MIGHT COVER: Bigfoot. The Church Fathers. Enlightenment dialectical philosophy and its woes. Ghosts. How to build physics equipment. Phantom limb syndrome. Cloning. City planning. How to grow your own food. And much more!

About The Hosts

SUMO
noun

  1. A Japanese form of wrestling in which a competitor loses if forced from the ring or if any part of his body except the soles of his feet touches the ground.
  2. An Ukulele weilding space samurai and master of spiritual self defense
  3. Mystical American Patriots Society Starfleet Commander

synonyms

Sumo is the Starfleet Commander of The Mystical American Patriots Society, a worldview repair service constructed to combat demonic entities. Using sophisticated metaphysical technologies he trains people in spiritual self defense techniques against all manner of phantasmic creatures including, but not limited to, Wetiko, Succubi, Wendigo, Familiars, Poltergeist, and Jinn.

Long ago, in the beforetime, Sumo had an awakening that the world was constructed of an integrated system of lies and that people were locked into it, as prisoners to a dream.  It became his life’s work to free people from their delusions in hopes that they might again find union with the Divine.

He has been referred to as a “pioneer of the space samurai lifestyle”, whatever that means.  Others have said that he is, quote, “Like John Lennon, if John Lennon wasn’t a weirdo.”  His primary weapons against the powers of darkness are yoga and a ukulele.

In his free time, he enjoys explorations into alternative footwear and throwing money off of bridges into the river.

Sumo profile pic
Smokestack profile pic

SMOKESTACK
noun

  1. A large chimney or vertical pipe through which combustion vapors, gases, and smoke are discharged.
  2. An advanced clone (version number unknown) fully equipped with all production modules required for operation of the MAPS enterprise.
  3. The clone currently occupying the producers seat in the Mystical American Patriots Society podcast.

synonyms
chimney, conduit, penstock, pipe

Smokestack is a podcast producing clone: the product of a decades long eugenics program. About two years ago he was spewed forth from a giant tube of bubbling goo.

Eventually his immune system will fail and he will explode into a giant pile of worms. But, in the meantime, Smokestack enjoys homesteading, cultural criticism, community building, mechanical tinkering, contemplating the beauty of creation, and walking to and fro upon the earth.

SMOKESTACK
noun

synonyms

Smokestack is a podcast producing clone: the product of a decades long eugenics program. About two years ago he was spewed forth from a giant tube of bubbling goo.

Eventually his immune system will fail and he will explode into a giant pile of worms. But, in the meantime, Smokestack enjoys homesteading, cultural criticism, community building, mechanical tinkering, contemplating the beauty of creation, and walking to and fro upon the earth.

Smokestack profile pic

Thank you for listening!

- Sumo & Smokestack
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